Around the world at the moment, there are around 70 countries where it is still illegal to be gay, transgender or transexual. That’s the haunting statement that kicks off Tom Shepard’s enlightening documentary ‘Unsettled’ which features the stories of four individuals from three such countries in Africa and the Middle East.

It’s always amazing to me that we can ignite as a human race and become outraged about the ill treatment of certain individuals and not about the bad treatment of others. But I guess it has a lot to do with how much we identify with certain conditions, and how each of us respond to triggers that are personal and deeply ingrained. For me, personally, the gender inequality issue is always the spark and that’s probably the reason I ended up connecting more intensely with the story of Mari and Cheyenne in Shepard’s latest work.

While Subhi from Syria and Junior from the Democratic Republic of Congo brought their own anguish to the table, it seemed that their maleness secured them better treatment, even from the LGBTQ community and advocates who handled their cases. But Mari and Cheyenne, a couple from Luanda, Angola struggled each step of their way, having had to flee their homes after falling in love. They came into the US on a student visa, unable to secure refugee status, shuffled from one home to another while in the country and began a three-year adjudication process to apply for asylum in California. You’ll have to watch the film and read the interview below to see how it all turned out for them.

I got to interview these two phenomenal women by email, thanks to the magic of the film’s publicist who is yet another extraordinary woman. Mari and Cheyenne speak frankly and disclose so much of themselves. I adored reading their answers, at times angry, maybe not politically correct and unafraid to be so. I think meekness is highly overrated in women and our courage is truly our most attractive quality.

Please reserve your spot for the upcoming free screening of the film on June 22nd at 7 p.m. EST, which will feature a live video discussion with the filmmaker, plus US Ambassador to the UN Samantha Power and NPR’s Ari Shapiro, along with film subject Subhi Nahas. Or check out the film between June 28th and July 12th, 2020 when it will stream via worldchannel.org and PBS.org.

And now, here is the full interview with Mari and Cheyenne.

What has changed since the documentary ended? Where are you living now?

Mari and Cheyenne: A lot has changed since the documentary. We've made a few changes in our lives that have been so beneficial both physically and spiritually. We have transitioned into more intentional and vegan living. We've been more in contact with nature and more in sync with our selves individually and together. meeting in the middle, loving each other more than ever. Supporting and building each other up every day.

We now live in the suburbs of Las Vegas, Nevada. We are enjoying this new journey. This is home for now.

Have you experienced less discrimination in the US? What is the high point of that? And was there a low point ever — meaning a moment when you felt like “oh oh, here we go again…”? 

Mari and Cheyenne: This question now sounds a bit broad to us and makes us stop and ask ourselves "have we been less discriminated against?" This question has to be a bit more specific. Are these questions asking about discrimination because of the color of our skins? For being a foreigner and having an accent? Discriminated for being gay? Or all of the above? To be honest, the majority of the discriminations we have encountered in the US has come from our LGBTQ community. Which is the place where we should have found our tribe/family, right?! Regrettably, things are not always how they seem. And, we are both OKAY with it. We continue doing our thing regardless.

Maybe we're constantly being discriminated against but, we've been so in sync with our souls that we really don't care what people think or how they see us. So we probably don't notice. Although we can't deny what has been happening lately, with all this "kill black people agenda" going on in this country. Those are our people so, you will automatically feel the pain. We also keep our circle of friends small. Everyone we meet is welcomed in but, only a few are genuine. We are very conscious of whom we exchange our energy with. Both in and outside our community. We live in a very toxic materialistic world. Real, genuine friends are really rare and hard to come by these days. If you have one, cherish them.

Vegas has been treating us well, so far. We believe that the majority of people here don't really care if you are gay or straight. Most people are more focused on making money and building their empires. Especially in these times with all this chaos going on.

You had to come to the US with student visas instead of UN refugee status as the men featured in this film. Did you ever feel that was because you were women? Did you feel discriminated against for your gender, before arriving in the US?

Mari and Cheyenne: The discrimination was both before and after arriving in the US. From job interviews, working in a company, to public places. And, yes. We have felt and experienced that so many times. Gay men seem to have more chances of being helped by these organizations. At least that's how it was back then. 

What are you doing to support yourselves these days?

Mari and Cheyenne: Cheyenne's last job was at Facebook Inc. as a Data Review Analyst in San Francisco. And is still in the Tech industry in Las Vegas. Mari's last job in SF was Technical Customer Service for a well-known tech company in San Francisco as well. Now in Vegas, Mari is Loan Servicing Time-shares. And working on building a record label. 

Cheyenne AKA KingCyborg continues to write and compose songs. recently released a song ‘Been There’ (available in all platforms). And, has been doing collaborations with other artists. And looking for sponsors to record the video clip for ‘Been There’. To team up in this project and other music and art projects that she has. It has not been easy. For anyone wanting to join this and future projects please, you are so more than welcome to reach out to us.

What would you like audiences to take away from the film, but more specifically your story?

Mari and Cheyenne: The goal of this film and specifically our story is to educate and inspire people. For the 100,000s time, immigrants don't come to this country to steal your jobs or take whatever you think we're here to take it from you. If there is something we do as immigrants is contribute to the economy. The USA is built off immigrants. The majority of us come here and do the work that 90% of Americans don't even want to do. We come to this country to build a better life. Yes. There are many other countries that people can immigrate to but, some people find the US as a step to conquer their freedom. Either financially or mentally. This country has a great constitution. This land is for you and me, right?! So, let's walk the walk. Let's come together as a community and build this country up. Sexual orientation, skin color, or even disabilities should not be a reason to separate us. This is 2020 — it is time to elevate your mindset.

Our story and love for each other are just somethings that happened to always be here. No matter the circumstances or what we were going through. This love was always there. It’s genuine. There’s no way we could fake it — it is true love. And, the fact that people can feel and see it even without watching the film, is so mind-blowing. So, this is one of the biggest wins we achieved by filming ‘Unsettled’. People realize that “True Love” exists and you too can find it. And you too can survive whatever life brings your way and you too are worthy of finding your soulmate. Someone who will always be there. On stormy and sunny days. Whatever the weather, whatever the situation. Sometimes we stop and stare at each other and talk about how far we both have come. We have gone through a lot — a lot of shit. Things that people can’t even know. A lifetime wouldn't be enough to tell it all.

You represent courage to women watching this film, no matter what their sexual orientation is. Who represents courage to each of you?

Cheyenne: The people who represent courage to me other than myself are both my parents. They built themselves up with their own sweat. Mom and dad always worked hard long hours to provide for their children. Family/love is something that they always made sure my siblings and I had. No matter the situation. They really inspire me to never give up on achieving my goals and to never forget that love wins. I'm so grateful to have them both as my parents.  

Mari represents courage to me in so many ways. Who would actually have the balls to jump with me onto this bumpy road full of surprises? Fall multiple times and still get up and carry on?

Mari: The two most important people that represent courage in my life are the two whom I personally love and experienced hardship with. They are my mom and Cheyenne.

Despite having a conflict with my mom at some point in my life, when I was still a little kid, I remember the things she went through. Having to move to a foreign country, living in poverty, learning a new language all while trying to take care her family. We went through a lot together. She is a strong woman. 

The second person who represents courage to me is my wife Cheyenne. Everything we went through together and the fact that she stood by my side this whole time is just extraordinary. We slept on the floor, we where homeless, we've been poisoned and assaulted, we’ve been called names, we had to run. But she stood by my side. I take my hat off to her!

And how would you Mari, describe Cheyenne and Cheyenne, how would you Mari, describe Mari?

Mari: Cheyenne is the sweetest person I have ever met. She is strong and determined. She has a beautiful personality. She knows where she wants to be in life. She has goals and ambitions. She feels for others.  And she will never let you down, she will always be there for you when you need her. She’s definitely got my back.   

Cheyenne: Mari means so much to me. It's kinda hard to put it all in words. She really is my rock. I cannot fathom having gone through everything I have gone through or building a life without her. There is no one else with whom I would want to play this game called LIFE but with her.