Once again, Pablo Larrain proves he is one of the smartest filmmakers around, but never once does he talk down to us, his audience. And this dictator vampire romp in B&W is just what this writer needed to kick off the festival in style.

Why do evil dictators and right-wing politicians seem to be constantly reappearing, though in different eras and sporting different looks, throughout history? Larrain gives us a highly entertaining cinematic answer to that. They are vampires, living among us at first, to learn our human weaknesses, while getting ready to pounce on power and make a play for the top spot. So, with that reasoning, Putin could have lived for the past 250 years, at first as a Spanish peasant, then reinvented himself as Mussolini, only to end up as the political head of Russia in the XXI century.

I’ll admit it, I worried about diving into the Venice Film Festival with a vampire horror film, because that’s what the film was said to be. Horror is not my genre but because this one came from Pablo Larrain, I knew it was going to be smart, funny, beautiful to watch and fascinating to digest. And digest it I have been, for the past 24 hours, just like the vampire Pinochet must digest his many heart smoothies in the film.

But I am getting ahead of myself.

Filmed in remarkably beautiful black and white by iconic American cinematographer Ed Lachman, El Conde is horror and political satire at its best. It tackles the very real monster of Augusto Pinochet, the Chilean dictator who seized power in 1973 backed by the West, destroyed the country and killed endless people, still to date considered “desaparecidos.” But in doing so with humor, blood, guts and an absurdist viewpoint, Larrain makes the evil dictator finally come face to face with human justice. Or cinematic justice at the very least.

The story of El Conde is simple. Well, kinda.

The vampire Pinoche, without the final “t” is born in pre-revolutionary France and makes it his mission early on to destroy all popular uprisings and revolutions, but also relishes in the death of the royals there. He lives for more than 250 years, transforming first into the soldier Augusto Pinochet and later the dictator. Now in his 90’s, and played by beloved Chilean actor Jaime Vadell, he lives in rural Chile with his wife Lucia (played by veteran Chilean actress Gloria Münchmeyer) — someone the English-speaking voiceover female voice calls an even more despicable being than Pinochet. Also in the household is his devoted butler Fyodor (the handsome Alfredo Castro), a figure who has followed him through the cruelties and may be responsible for far more than first meets the eye.

Pinochet wears big grandpa sneakers, moves around with the help of a walker and is getting tired of hunting for blood every night, which he requires to survive. But nevertheless, to get the taste of the film — pardon the needed pun — we see him taking off in flight and descending upon his unsuspecting victims, to rob them, graphically, of their still pulsating hearts. It is the gore that Larrain admitted in his notes to finding necessary, to show the cruelty of his dictator/vampire even though he’s now a harmless looking old man.

Pinochet still sees himself as a true soldier, who treated killing as a necessary task, but he cringes at the sole mention of having stolen from his country. A crook, no he is not! A murderer? That doesn’t matter as much, as all is fair in love and war.

The story then takes another twist, first as his five children show up at the house, then as a nun-turned-vampire-slayer (Paula Luchsinger) — no, she is not named Buffy here — comes into play, and the story turns a bit magical before coming back to hit us with Larrain’s absolute essential wisdom. Personally, I’m still thinking about it, renegotiating the outcome and would love to sit through it one more time to make sure I got everything I needed. There is one more surprise at the end of the film, which comes when the voiceover turns into a physical role and much of the modern Western world’s woes are explained. So much so, that if you truly get it, you’ll explode with laughter, and then slowly begin to sob into your popcorn.

Thankfully the film is a Netflix title, which means once it will be on the streaming giant’s platform I’ll be able to revisit it at home and work out those little bits I might not have gotten on first viewing. Remember, Larrain is that smart, and while not condescending, some of the information may come at us, the audience, too quickly to catch. I think personally I was too busy watching this breathtakingly beautiful film to get it all. But I urge to watch the film in cinemas first. Use your TV for a second viewing only as the film on the big screen is absolutely a jewel for all the senses.

And now, I think I’m off to find a place that will whip me up a nice, dark, rum-infused raspberry smoothie on the Lido. Because while El Conde is dark and it’s bloody, it’s also so deliciously well made that it will make you crave for life. Everything that life has to offer, from the good to the less desirable. And yes, even bloody heart smoothies.

El Conde is 110 mins long, and is directed by Larrain, from a script written by Larrain with Guillermo Calderón. Producers are Juan de Dios Larraín, Pablo Larraín and Rocío Jadue. The editor is Sofía Subercaseaux, costumes are by Muriel Parra and music by Juan Pablo Ávalo and Marisol García, with Ed Lachman as DoP, as I mentioned. The cast includes: Jaime Vadell, Gloria Münchmeyer, Alfredo Castro, Paula Luchsinger, Catalina Guerra, Marcial Tagle, Amparo Noguera, Diego Muñoz, Antonia Zegers and Stella Gonet.