When my family was getting ready to move to the US from Italy, back in the early 80s, my parents took me to celebrate Christmas at the home of a famous Italian writer and journalist, in the countryside of Chianti in Tuscany. We spent a few days there, surrounded by the natural beauty of the place and Oriana Fallaci’s (our host) wit and argumentative spirit. She taught me to drink strong cocktails (I was twelve at the time) in preparation for being “a cool American girl” she said and she thought I’d make a good fashion model because of my thin ankles. She later retracted the statement, saying my imposing nose would not make me a good beauty candidate. Not exactly the perfect role model for a pre-teenage girl, but that’s a whole other blog post for a different day.

One of the things Fallaci did perfectly was navigate the perilous waters of American gender inequality, living in the era of Reagan and beyond. She was tough, no nonsense and a woman who could get anything she wanted. Even if she was a tiny little thing, 100 lbs wet and 5 foot 3 in high heels, she yelled, she bullied and she always got her way. I remember an anecdote my mom told me about getting a bidet installed in her townhouse and how she put those plumbers in their places.

Yet the greatest advice she ever gave my mom and I was to be a cowboy. “In America, you need to behave like a cowboy or you’ll get trampled” she would say. She would then sit us down for hours in front of her TV to watch John Wayne movies and would even find each of us — mom, dad and daughter — relating characters on the small screen. Mom was always John Wayne and I think she still believes that today. She acts like a old cowboy in the best of circumstances, much to my dismay and to the shock of those who cross her path. The cuss words included if you happen to cross her personally or get in the way of what she wants.

I never remember the name of the young actor who pretty much went along with anything John Wayne said or did while on a horse, but I recently watched a film with a young Anthony Perkins called ‘Friendly Persuasion’, also starring Gary Cooper and recognized much of Fallaci’s advice to me in his role. He’s meek but he’s also full of integrity and conviction and I think those are the cowboy qualities I find easiest within myself. I’m less of a bully and more of a brooding type.

So why this long post about a personal anecdote? Because for one, the World Economic Forum has just released their 2020 study where it states that women will not achieve gender equality for another nearly 100 years (99.5 to be exact). But also because until we realize the kind of country — and now the type of world — we live in, we’ll continue to be unhappy. Impeach or not impeach, vote for a president and then forcibly try to remove him. We’re confused and utterly lost. When instead we should realize that we are being led by a cowboy, who bullies his way through policies and economic incentives yet somehow gets the job done — or at least could until the next election. That’s the nature of politics, trust me you won’t find saints at the helm of countries. Even Mrs. Pelosi is a cowboy and acts like a damn good one too!

So ladies, put on your own riding gear, your Stetson hats, saddle up your horses and face the world as a cowboy today. Even if you don’t feel like it, and trust me, I don’t feel like it more often than not, but I will. Remember, when you act like a cowboy and think like a lady, you’re creating your own silent revolution.