A couple, a love affair, a wedding day and then the desire to have a child together. It’s everyone’s dream, yet if the couple isn’t part of what is considered “the norm” in this world, there will be obstacles ahead. Love is difficult enough if you’re straight. If the couple happens to be gay, the challenges multiply by the thousands.
In the upcoming 'Ghosts of the République' a wonderful documentary by Jonathon Narducci which will begin streaming on November 17th, we watch the love affair of French couple Nicolas and Aurelien unfolding. Their marriage is supported by all members of their respective families and their wedding ceremony takes place in a country which seems accepting of their union. But wait a minute! Not so fast now... France may accept the civil union of two people of the same sex, but when those same two people decide to have children together things become complicated.
In fact, when they decide to form a family, Aurelien and Nicolas are confronted with France’s conservative surrogacy laws, and in order to have a child, decide to exhaust their last option by traveling to Las Vegas to start a family of their own through international surrogacy. Even in this instance, the U.S. seems to have one up on other countries. I’m sorry if I gush, but since our new President was recently elected, I can’t help but feel proud of my adoptive country. Again, and not a moment too soon.
Problem is, once their child is born, thanks to two exceptional women who help by donating their eggs and their uterus respectively, the little bundle of joy won’t be recognized in France. Seems like the Middle Ages, eh? If you’re gay, in Europe, it appears to be.
Nearly twenty years ago, I remember going to a reception for a big Broadway play that had gone on the road. My boyfriend at the time, an actor in the play, introduced me to the man who was responsible for the artistic direction both on Broadway and on the road. Along with him, I also met his partner and they were both gushing about the impending birth of their baby boy, thanks to a surrogate mother. I wondered how that worked, since gay marriage laws hadn’t even been passed yet. We are talking about 2002 and the first legal same-sex marriage ceremonies in the United States happened in February of 2004, when the then mayor of San Francisco, Gavin Newsom directed the city-county clerk to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples. At that time, adoption in the US was a problem even for a plain ol’ husband and wife couple. But in retrospect, I see how far things had already come in a country that prides itself on being the first and the best — and often is.
I’ve also since met new friends and encountered work contacts who found fatherhood and motherhood thanks to good friends or relatives who helped them to achieve that. And often thought that if someone had ever asked me, I would say “yes!” enthusiastically.
Helping someone in need to create a loving family is one of the greatest honors in my book.
The documentary by Narducci is filled with poignant moments but also lighthearted interactions. It kicks off on Nicolas’ and Aurelien’s wedding day, as they are surrounded by their loved ones. “When I realized I was gay, I thought it would be impossible to be happy,” discloses Nicolas, breaking down in tears. While the mothers of the couple share their own desires to become grandmothers. A baby is immortalized in their wedding photos, a beautiful girl belonging to Aurelian’s sister, it turns out.
From that idyllic setting, we are jarred back to the reality of having a baby, if you’re a same-sex couple. Images of surrogate disasters, like the infamous the Mary Beth Whitehead case, are flashed on the screen, a crude cover from Charlie Hebdo along with a description as to why France has adopted measures to make surrogacy illegal. In my humble opinion, these are a bit like the politically correct unspoken rules currently running through European museums that have locked away Egyptian artifacts like the mummies because they represent “cultural appropriation.” But that’s just me.
So the couple venture to the U.S., Las Vegas to be exact, where we discover that it takes a village to produce a surrogate baby. Eggs from the young, red-headed Diana, so the baby will look like its parents, and the uterus of Crystal, a woman in her thirties who admits she loves being pregnant but doesn’t want any more children. She will carry the little bundle of joy to term for the nine months.
Along the way, lots of information and differing views are shared, on everything from hormone therapy to ethical questions surrounding the birth. ‘Ghosts of the République’ is a film that both entertains and inform, and I loved it for that. I looked into laws and regulations and informed myself further — when a film inspires me like that, it’s something really special.
While I won’t give the ending away, well I might already have actually in the header photo, I will say that the adventures of the couple and their women are followed in a beautiful, touching way and at one point, very close to the end, I couldn’t help but break down. ‘Ghosts of the République’ is just that, a film that will melt your heart and maybe help you shed a tear or two — something we all need to do at the moment.
The film will be available on Amazon Prime, iTunes and other platforms starting on November 17, 2020. For more info and ways to stream it, check out their website.