They say when you lose a loved one, you go through five stages of mourning: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. When I lost my best friend, just over a month ago, I went through those five stages in the first 24 hours — and about forty-five more since then. Despair, gratefulness, love, sadness, fury, loneliness, fight, empowerment — they have all been part of my grieving process.